I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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