8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
