Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
