so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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