Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
