Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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