Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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