Me. At least after what I've been through.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
