At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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