using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize