i need an iv and a liver transplant
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
