then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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