I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
