I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize