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Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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