so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
