Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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