I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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