I looked at my own cervix.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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