Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize