Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
