I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize