I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
