he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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