i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
