you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
