So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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