Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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