i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
