Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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