he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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