like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
