I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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