I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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