I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
