I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
