You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize