im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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