Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
