She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Can I color on your dick again?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
