He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you would pick up someone in the library
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
