Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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