Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
