I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
