I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize