i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
