it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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