I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
