I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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