Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
