is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
