his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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