I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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