Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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