So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
