Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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