so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
