; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
