we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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