He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
