I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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