well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
