She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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