Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
