just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
