Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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