Sry I called you an 8
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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