at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize