I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
