You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
