Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize