Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
