just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
