why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
