At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize