Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
