Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize