What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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