did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
