Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
