We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Alive.
So much puke
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
