Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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