i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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