Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
