I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
