help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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