Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
there is glitter all over my balls
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